A Short Story Of Oratory Dragon Management
by Wikus
Summary: Hobbies and heat cycles collide.


**A Tale Of Oratory Dragon Management**

"_What are you reading?_"

Eragon jumped and very quickly tried to roll up and hide the paper in his hands.

Settling for shoving the offending paper down his pants, he very quickly stands up and turns around, smiling and waving awkwardly to his greatest friend, Saphira.

Great friends who share a special bond.

Great friends with no secrets to keep from each other.

Nope.

None at all.

"Saphira, heeeey, how was the hunt? You were awfully quiet on the way in!"

The dragon raised an eyeridge, "_I decided to see if I could sneak up on you. It's always been so difficult in the past, but lately, you've had these…how shall we say…blank spots._"

She slowly started circling him, as if sizing up prey before the big leap.

"_Yes, blank spots is what we shall call them. I seem to remember that you can only be so blind if you were so focused on something that everything else around you loses all depth and meaning._"

He followed her eyes the entire time, both of them circling around the camp at this point. He started to step back, little by little approaching the edge of the camp.

However, he nearly stumbled over the tail that was dragging along the ground behind him.

Saphira used this lapse in concentration to close the circle, the space getting tighter and tighter.

Circling each other, the dragon rider saw no easy way out of this.

"_Now, I know you have quite a few interests, maybe even a hobby or two, but I know how those effect you._"

She stopped circling and started slowly wrapping her tail around his legs. He was too focused on her eyes, the deep blue pools drawing him in.

He hoped to whatever gods that care to listen that she didn't notice him sweating bullets.

"_This however…never have you been so engrossed in something SO single-mindedly, that you can't even feel your partnered-heart-and-soul when they are right behind you._"

He felt the tail wrapping round him, felt the last hope of escape die inside, but all he could focus on were those massive eyes, getting closer and closer, looking, staring, boring into his very soul. 

Saphira spoke calmly, normally, except for that little inflection, that slight smugness.

SHE KNEW SOMETHING HE DIDN'T!

"_Yes, I felt almost slighted when I got back and you didn't notice me…for nearly fifteen minutes._"

The last of the colour drained away from his face at this point but he finally managed to get his second sentence out.

"Fi…fiteen?"

He smiled very awkwardly, a feeling rising up in his chest. What feeling, he didn't know, a feeling of shame? No.

A feeling that he'd been caught.

"_Oh yes, dear-heart-of-mine, but before THAT, 'hahaha', before that, I decided to watch from a lovely little vantage point while you went about your…business._"

The light little laugh, that TAUNTING laugh, barely a chuckle, definitely a giggle. SHE WATCHED!

Her face barely inches away from his, the blue dragon smirked.

"_So tell me, protector-of-mine-honour,_'

She poked the tip of her tongue out and licked his left cheek, a long, drawn out, scraping lick.

Drawing her tongue back in and 'mmming' a little bit, she leaned her head right in, her snout toughing his nose and boomed.

'…_WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS?_"

He closed his eyes and his body sagged. He'd been beat.

"Okay Saphira, you win, I will hide my secret no longer."

Content with his submission and sure that she'd made her point, she slowly unwrapped him and made some slight distance, curling up contentedly, the smugness practically radiating from her.

When his arms were free, he rubbed his shoulders, the pressing of her tail coiled around him making him itchy.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, she expectantly, he awkwardly.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but then closed it again.

Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, he spoke up.

"Could you please turn around, I'd rather not pull this out with you watching."

Sure that she'd won, she twisted her neck around and closed her eyes, waiting for his voice.

She wasn't worried, after all, they WERE connected heart, mind and spirit, it's not like he could make even the slightest move without her knowi-WHAT?

She twisted her head around and looked at the empty campsite, Eragon's sudden disappearance a shock, even to her. She sent her vision as far as her eyes and mind would let her, but to no avail.

Every field and every dale that she could see were clear. He could not be hiding anywhere else.

Roaring a cry of vengeance, she took to the skies and flew in a random direction, searching the ground for her quarry.

HOW DARE HE RUN FROM HER? 

High above the campsite, flying as quietly and as carefully as they could, Murtagh and Thorn were incredibly pleased with themselves.

They had snuck up on the infamous duo and had even taken one of them from right behind a dragons back, literally!

Loosening his claws enough for his trophy to get free, he felt hands on his legs as the dragon rider climbed to his back.

Eventually settling himself behind Murtagh on the saddle, the rider of the Red Dragon called back to him.

"Got you this time! I can't wait until Saphira finds out about this, she'll be so pissed!"

Putting one hand on his shoulder and pointing forward with the other, he yelled back with frantic words.

"If you don't fly as fast as you can away from here, we'll all be doomed!"

Murtagh turned around to question him more but when he turned pale, Eragon also turned and saw a very angry dragoness swooping down at them, claws out, mouth open and teeth bared.

Basically, a picture of fury and impending hell.

The image was complete when she mentally SCREECHED at them

"_YOU CAN'T RUN AND YOU CAN'T HIDE!_"

With quick and HIGHLY ENCOURING prompt from Saphira, the younger dragon didn't even wait for input from Murtagh before doing his best to flap away from the incensed female.

As they sped away, seemingly in vain, Murtagh yelled back at his passenger.

"WHY IS SHE SO ANGRY?"

Murtagh was his friend, but he was also his half-brother. They've told each other things that only guys share, but it was still a surprise when Eragon called back this response.

"SHE CAUGHT ME WRITING AND PRACTICING EROTIC STAGE POETRY!"

The Red Dragon dipped in the sky, a highly undragon-like cough-snort ruining his flight for a few seconds. He was still wheezing when Murtagh called back through tears of laughter.

"WHY WOULD SHE BE SO ANGRY ABOUT THAT?"

Just then they felt a gut wrenching tug as the blue dragoness wrapped both of her large clawed hands around Thorn's tail and tugged.

Murtagh was okay, but Eragon, not even a basic lead to hold him to the saddle, flew over his half-brother and landed on the red dragon's head.

Suddenly disoriented, Thorn didn't even think and quickly flicked his head side to side, easily dislodging the unlucky dragon rider.

He didn't have long to attempt flight before large claws plucked him from freefall and carried him back to camp, both arms reaching out to the receding red pair, a look of fear in his eyes.

As they sat there and watched them retreat, Murtagh wondered aloud.

"Why would she possibly be so angry over *snort* erotic stage poetry?"

He again felt his dragon's muscles contract as the gigantic flying lizard started up a long wheezing roar, barely staying aloft.

Through the laughter, Murtagh caught a single sentence.

"_Because she's not angry, she's in heat._"

At that moment, they both felt a mental yell from Saphira along with some very mixed emotions.

"_I WILL HEAR THE END OF THAT LAST VERSE, I WILL FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAID POLISHING HER MASTERS SPEAR. I WILL HEAR IT AGAIN AND AGAIN And again and __again and…_." 


End file.
